This is a serious matter.
I seriously cannot sit still, cannot think clearly, cannot have a single creative thought until AFTER I poop.
Why is this? I really, actually, want to know. Is there a scientist that can explain to me why my body just shuts down until after the poop is gone?
Like any person who has a weird issue, my first option is to google it and hope that some other person has a blog and has figured out why this is a phenomenon. Did you know, when you search for this subject, you will get around 12,000,000 results all related to constipation and pooping at work etiquette. (I had no idea there was a work poop etiquette by the way. Why is this a thing? We all poop.)
My favorite article title that I saw in these search results was "How the Most Successful People Poop at Work" on www.fastcompany.com. The article is actually kind of fascinating when you read through it. I guess despite not understanding the reason WHY we all have bathroom anxiety in public places, does not mean it isn't prevalent in the world, even with myself.
Let me clarify my fascination with this piece. It is not because it reveals some secret to gain success through some secret pooping ritual, but pin points the extreme ridiculousness of how our culture has become terrified of natural human smells.
We are animals. We smell. ALL of us. Yes, sometimes we smell really bad. And we have evolved over time to associate nasty smelling things with rotten stuff. So I guess naturally we don't want to smell like something rotting. But there are truly human smells that no one can really avoid. Farts, Poop, Vagina Stank, Sweaty Ball Stank, and I-Just-Ran-A-Marathon Stank. Since we literally cannot live with pooping or farting without creating a medical emergency for ourselves... we should probably just embrace it.
Who cares if other people smell your poop and giggle. You have probably smelled their poop ad giggled too. It is just how it goes. Farts and bad smells have been funny since we were children, why stop the hilarity now? Professional environment or not... EVERYBODY poops. There is a book about this. You should read it if you have any doubts. It is in the children's sections at every major book store in town.
I seriously cannot sit still, cannot think clearly, cannot have a single creative thought until AFTER I poop.
Why is this? I really, actually, want to know. Is there a scientist that can explain to me why my body just shuts down until after the poop is gone?
Like any person who has a weird issue, my first option is to google it and hope that some other person has a blog and has figured out why this is a phenomenon. Did you know, when you search for this subject, you will get around 12,000,000 results all related to constipation and pooping at work etiquette. (I had no idea there was a work poop etiquette by the way. Why is this a thing? We all poop.)
My favorite article title that I saw in these search results was "How the Most Successful People Poop at Work" on www.fastcompany.com. The article is actually kind of fascinating when you read through it. I guess despite not understanding the reason WHY we all have bathroom anxiety in public places, does not mean it isn't prevalent in the world, even with myself.
Let me clarify my fascination with this piece. It is not because it reveals some secret to gain success through some secret pooping ritual, but pin points the extreme ridiculousness of how our culture has become terrified of natural human smells.
We are animals. We smell. ALL of us. Yes, sometimes we smell really bad. And we have evolved over time to associate nasty smelling things with rotten stuff. So I guess naturally we don't want to smell like something rotting. But there are truly human smells that no one can really avoid. Farts, Poop, Vagina Stank, Sweaty Ball Stank, and I-Just-Ran-A-Marathon Stank. Since we literally cannot live with pooping or farting without creating a medical emergency for ourselves... we should probably just embrace it.
Who cares if other people smell your poop and giggle. You have probably smelled their poop ad giggled too. It is just how it goes. Farts and bad smells have been funny since we were children, why stop the hilarity now? Professional environment or not... EVERYBODY poops. There is a book about this. You should read it if you have any doubts. It is in the children's sections at every major book store in town.
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